When am I done?

Do you ask yourself that? Am I done with this? Or am I the only one? …..  I can’t be. 

(And this is a safe space.)

But, to be fair such a question cannot honestly be answered unless you have gone so far past the doneness.

Like so far past. 

I feel like there is such a delicate line between liking, loving and oh, sh*t.

And once I have hit the oh sh*t- all bets are OFF. 

Cuz, I want. (Need.) to make this work. 

But there is something freeing about being so far out of bounds. At this point, you can (and I will) try anything. 

I struggle with walking that line.

I start off walking. Solid. Good. Nice pace.

And I can feel that momentum…. I am liking where this is heading (and my mind is fully two steps ahead of my painty fingers) and so, the next thing I know, I am jogging.

Running? It all becomes a blur. And yet, I am still thinking “I got this.”

But I am dangerously…. What? Too close. Too wet. Too dark. Too many.

And then I am “well sh*t.”- I really thought I had this. Lol.

I think to be fair that is why painting for me- the first few layers can be so playful (almost reckless) with abandonment. Because rarely. And I do mean rarely. Does my first layer result in something equating to “done.” I know I typically need to have several layers before I will even get close to doneness.

I dug through my old posts and found another reference to paint in layers in 2012!~A glance back to confirm, this question of whether I am done and the need for several layers.

I think this is why it is also super important to have a “place” to simply play. If you never cross that line… how do you know where that line is? Or what to do once you have crossed the line?

Tried things. Experimented. Made a hot mess. At least with painting anyway. And I would dare say- with either watercolor or acrylic paint.

Collage….. That is a different story. More easily defined? (When finished.)

Oh…. hold on…..I am liking this lead in…. Should I be? Finished I mean?

With a first pass of paper? I mean is a single layer ……Is that enough?!......mmmmm. I may need to simmer on this a bit for you. 

In the meantime, I had gone and pushed a page too far. And I thought I had recorded it for you. But I did not. I shared a pic of the end weirdness when I was done.

And Leslie (thank you for that question!) had asked if I had any further insight in the “arms bound to my sides” and so, I grabbed my apron and played.

Walking that delicate line. I am not sure I pushed far enough….. But I think I liked where it ended for now. (which in itself, is always a lesson for us artists). 

Thank you so very much for reading this far if you are here. Xoxo.